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Thread: App: Janaros - ARK, mainly (0/3)

  1. #1
    Membership Application
    Are you over 18? (You must be 18+ to apply.)
    Yes

    What are some games you plan on playing with us?
    ARK, mainly

    What is the character or account name you’re joining that game with?
    Janaros

    Do you have friends or family in the Unrepentant community? If so what is their forum name?
    Nope

    So... let's talk! What follows are a bunch of questions that give us a sense of your personality, and give us something to talk about. If your answers are boring or short, we’ll assume you’re boring (and probably short).

    Tell us the story of one of the dumbest, funniest or most embarrassing things you've done as an adult.
    I have a puppy. He is incredibly funny, and I love him to bits. Occasionally he bites my electronics, and then I feel like getting him was the dumbest thing I've ever done.

    It's a two in one.

    What's the coolest job you've ever had? What's the worst? (And why?)
    Did a summer analyzing the macroeconomical situation in eastern Europe. That was pretty fun. Has to do with my major (economics), and the people were pretty swell.

    Name three video games you'll replay no matter how old they get. (And why?)
    DotA / EU4 / CS:GO

    Tell us about the most annoying person you've ever met, and why he/she annoyed you.
    I don't really believe in "annoying" people. Everyone has a reason to be the way they are. One of my friends is one of the most annoying people I know. I can't stand him for longer periods of time. He is too loud, he wants too much attention, he yells and he has stupid jokes. He is also one of the most loyal, incredible and kind people I know. After getting to know him, I realized that "annoying" people usually just want love and support.

    Tell us something cool about yourself that has nothing to do with gaming. (Free hint: responding to your application thread with photo or video supporting evidence is a plus!)
    I've climbed Mount Kilimanjaro.

    Why choose the Unrepentant Gaming Community over just a regular gaming guild?
    I found your discord randomly on reddit, and as soon as I jumped in everyone wanted to help me. That was pretty sweet.

    BONUS: Ask us some questions! We're sure you've got some.
    It's 2017, how do you still have a pushbulletin forum? Didn't these things die 10 years ago? Have I traveled to the past?

    Almost done!

    You enter a cave before starting an adventure. A wise old man tells you "It's dangerous to go alone. Take this." What does he hand you and why?
    He hands me his hand. He is clearly afraid and wants to be escorted out of this cave.

  2. #2


    Proof for kilimanjaro. the questionaire said you wanted proof.

  3. #3
    http://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198028506513/
    STEAM_0:1:34120392
    Janaros

    Don't worry about the profile picture. Friend of mine photoshopped me on top of Lenin, I lost a bet, I have to have that. It's a joke.

  4. #4
    NWO Guild Leader Gwynn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Location
    Walla Walla, WA
    Posts
    4,415
    Hi Janaros, welcome to the application process!

    You've been added to the white list, and can connect to any of our servers. I'll suggest you start off on Steampunk, as it's the most populated currently.

    Please make sure to read our Guild (community) Charter here:

    FAQ

    And our ARK rules here:

    Ueyvers ARK Cluster Servers

    As for the Steam ID, if you link your ID (which you did) that's all I need. If one of your friends puts in an app and doesn't link their ID to their forum account, then I'd just need a url link.

    RE Your forum question: Yes, we mainly use the forums as a means of communicating within the community. Slack/Mumble/Discord are all great, but forum posts are forever. I'm going to guess that it's also got something to do with the average age of our members. While we have members ranging from their early 20s to (I think) 60+, the majority seem to be in their 30s and 40s. While instant messaging is great and all, it's also very fleeting. Anything of substance is put on the forums. We're looking for members who've got some substance to them, and are looking to be part of the greater whole (and not just looking for a free private server that they can play on with their buddies).

    As for your dumbest, funniest or most embarrassing story - c'mon, you can do better than that. Don't get me wrong, I've occasionally regretted agreeing to a pet myself, but on the scale of dumb/funny/embarrassing, that's pretty low on the list.
    Last edited by Gwynn; 02-02-2017 at 08:22 AM.
    I'm a mom, but I'm not your mom.

  5. #5
    Just messing with you about the forum. It feels almost nostalgic. You have a good point.

    If my story didn't satisfy you, I'll do you one better.

    This is my short story I wrote about a year ago. It's called

    "How I got my appendix and innocence removed".

    I warn you. It's a bit... Risque? Don't read it if you don't appreciate suggestively vulgar text.


    - How I got my appendix and innocence removed -


    I have an odd habit of getting into bizarre situations. Whether this is due to a tendency of putting myself in situations where weird things happen, artistic exaggeration or habitual oversharing remains a mystery.


    However, the story of how I got my appendix removed while in the Finnish military has remained a constant source of mirth to those who have heard the story. Now, as a way to ruin any potential future in politics, I’ve decided to immortalize the story in print. I hope it’s worth it.


    It was a particularly bland Sunday morning in January, year 2010. True to my habits, I wasted away my Sunday by the computer, waiting for the clock to turn six, at which point my friends and I would drive back to the garrison. At some point, in between breakfast at the computer and lunch at the computer I noticed a bizarre sort of ache coming from my abdomen. At first, I thought it was the aftermath of a late-night burger and that last beer I definitely needed to drink. After praying to the porcelain gods for a while without reprieve, I did what any smart-ass twenty-year-old with internet access would do. I googled my symptoms. After ruling out WebMD’s favorite suspects, cancer and some sort of flesh-eating bacteria, the symptoms landed me on appendicitis. The revelation left me conflicted. On one hand, this meant that I would get a week of free vacation from the army. On the other hand, it meant surgery, stitches, a recovery period and the removal of a body part I had been inseparable with for twenty years. Clearly, the pros outweighed the cons.


    So, as I walked into the garrison, I immediately went to the front desk, declared proudly that I had appendicitis, and asked to be taken to the hospital.


    Rookie mistake. You see, this lead to the military choosing which hospital I was sent to. Had I made a phone call from home, and went to the closest hospital, I’m pretty sure I’d at least have my innocence left.


    As I walked into Ekenäs hospital, I realized that self-diagnosis is pretty frowned upon and isn’t taken all that seriously. My stomach had decided to upgrade the previously dull ache to repetitive stabs of pain, which became all the more obvious while sitting in a chair designed for someone with a physiology closer to E.T. than J.S.


    And this is where it gets funny. Into the waiting room sauntered a young male doctor. He looked like he hadn’t realized that moisturizer is mainly meant for your skin, as his hair was sloppily greased back. It was a bizarre combination of the stereotypical Hanken look and a slithery hockey mullet. As a limp wrist reached out, and I heard him speak his name with a very distinct lisp, it all clicked. The doctor was Swedish.


    I’m not prejudiced, so I repeated my symptoms and suspicions and expected him to take a blood test and send me to wait for the results.


    “Oh, could you remove your shirt?” the doctor asked while adjusting his magnificent mullet.
    “Well, fair enough, that’s to be expected,” I thought as he pressed my stomach and asked me if I felt any pain.


    “Ooh, that’s soft and nice,” he exclaimed while having both hands around my navel.


    An odd thing to say to a half-naked man, but I guess it was his way of calming down patients, which sometimes just slips out at unfortunate times.


    “Please remove your pants,” he said while I heard the tell-tale sound of latex smacking on a wrist.


    Well that’s a bit weird, but who am I to doubt a doctor?


    “And your boxers.”


    So there I was, dressed in my birthday suit on a cold medical bed with articles of clothing littering the chairs of the examination room. Not to mention the strange man who demanded I strip without even buying me flowers.

    His hands reached for my unmentionables, which promptly drew inwards, as if to escape the touch of hands that were larger than my own (for what I hoped was the first and last time).


    So this was already a bizarre in its own right. I thought this was as cut and dry as appendicitis comes. However, the situation was made so much worse (or better, depending on who you ask), by what came next.

    “Ooh, that’s soft and nice.”

    Wait, really? Was he cupping my balls, and complimenting them on their softness and niceness?

    I had so many thoughts racing through my mind. Thoughts like “Did he just say that?”, “Why did he just compliment my testicles?”, “How do you judge the potential softness and niceness of male genitalia?”, “Why me? Why me again?”.

    Don’t get me wrong, that’s still the nicest thing someone has ever said about my nuts. In a way I’m a bit proud. How many men can honestly say that their marbles have been deemed worthy by a doctor?

    The rest of the story is positively dull in comparison, and as magazine isn’t called “Jan’s gonads”, I’ll summarize what happened after.

    I got my prostate checked, was diagnosed with appendicitis, cut open and the bacterial flora in my stomach has never been the same. I was left with a scar that looks more like a stab wound by Tyrion Lannister than the result of surgery in the 21st century.

    Every now and then when things get tough, I look down at the scar and remind myself that no matter what happens, my nads are soft and nice.




    How I got my appendix and innocence removed


    How I got my appendix and innocence removed


    How I got my appendix and innocence removed
    "

  6. #6
    NWO Guild Leader ironzerg's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    North Carolina
    Posts
    12,513
    So that story was worth a laugh...what makes it funny to me is to think about what language the exchanged occurred in. Per your Discord chat, you're from Finland, right?

    So...was it in Finnish? Swedish? Or did you guys just compromise and go with English. So I'm thinking of a Swedish guy talking in English, and the best translation he can make from what he's thinking in Swedish is "soft and nice". It really makes me wonder what EXACTLY was he thinking about in his head as he caressed your soft, Finnish testicles.


    Quote Originally Posted by Gwynn View Post
    Woohoo! I'm a special person now as well! Look out guysl... my penis is gonna be HUGE!
    Quote Originally Posted by Gwynn View Post
    Meh. My hair looks dumb and I can't find sheep.

  7. #7
    Hey Janaros, and welcome to the app process. This is our getting to know you time, and it's pretty much the one thing we take seriously around here.

    I was one of those in Discord when you hopped in, and I'm glad you felt welcomed. That's a lot of what we're about here.

    I do want to ask a question right away that has been tossing a red flag in my face... it's the same question that I had to deal with when I applied, so please don't feel like this is singling you out... I know you've got a group of friends who are looking for a place to play ARK. I can completely understand that. One aspect of this process is that each of your friends will need to put in an application themselves: Each of you will be judged based on your own merits and interactions. My question is this: What happens if one or more of your friends does not get accepted? How will you feel and how do you feel you will react?

    EDIT: I've had friends apply here who have been rejected for various reasons or who withdrew from the process of their own accord. I know this can be a less than optimal situation, but the way I or others deal with it can have a significant impact on the community as a whole.
    Last edited by DMIL421; 02-02-2017 at 09:19 AM.
    SOMETHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT ME - Please Read

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    Tatsukishi: We do what we must. because... we can!

  8. #8
    It's honestly too early to respond to that. I don't know if ARK is the game for me, I don't know if it's the game for my friends.

    Best case scenario? I love ARK, my friends love ARK, we get accepted as a group and play together. All of us.

    Worst case scenario? I quit within a week, everyone quits within a week, and we never talk to each other again.

    I will happily answer this question properly in a week, when I know a bit more where I stand with ARK.

  9. #9
    malibukenny's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    Location
    Raleigh, NC, USA
    Posts
    154
    Hi there Janaros! Glad to meet your acquaintance (already.) That is certainly one of the most amusing stories I've heard. I have a Swede friend, Magnus, who also uses the word 'nice' very generously. Perhaps 'nice' meant something else in Swedish? *shrugs* Perhaps similar to Indians (or majority of Indian I interact with in my workday) freely usage of the word "kindly."
    NWO - Yasesril@malibukenny#7289 (iL 12k Trapper HR)
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    "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic." -Arthur C. Clarke

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by Janaros View Post
    It's honestly too early to respond to that. I don't know if ARK is the game for me, I don't know if it's the game for my friends.

    Best case scenario? I love ARK, my friends love ARK, we get accepted as a group and play together. All of us.

    Worst case scenario? I quit within a week, everyone quits within a week, and we never talk to each other again.

    I will happily answer this question properly in a week, when I know a bit more where I stand with ARK.
    I can appreciate that response to a point. The positive thing here is that this is a gaming community as opposed to just an ARK community. If you're playing any kind of game, I'd be pretty confident that someone else is playing as well. Is that the sort of thing you are looking for?

    As an example, I came into this community with Star Trek Online. Since then, I've been involved with community members with Minecraft, modded Minecraft, SWTOR, Neverwinter, ARK, Space Engineers, Unturned, Paragon, World of Warships, Smite, and I'm sure there's been others.

    My point is we have a lot of great people around playing alot of different games, but we are all here as a community because of the people... the games are secondary. A lot of people that hang around aren't actively playing ANYTHING. Do you get what I'm saying?

    EDIT: And I can't believe I didn't add this, so I thought it was necessary. On top of all the people I play games with, I've also met some people with whom I've developed real friendships that go well beyond the realms of gaming. I'm sure others would say the same.
    Last edited by DMIL421; 02-02-2017 at 11:20 AM.

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