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Thread: Spanner@Dasterdly: CO Application

  1. #1
    Spanner's Avatar
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    Forum name of Applicant: Spanner

    Which game are you applying for membership in? (AoC, WAR, other): I am app'ing for CO. Though, I do happen to have an active account on Set in AoC if you should ever pop back over there.

    Are you a member of any other guild in that game? Nope

    Are you over 18? (you must be 18+ to apply) Indeed. I am 38. Now fetch my Metemucil and depends. Actually, I am not to the point of shitting my pants. But I will fake decrepitude if it means I get a free sponge bath from a nurse with big bazongas

    Male or Female? Male

    What is the name/class/current level of the character(s) you intend to join with? Spanner (@Dasterdly) Gadegteer 19. TRIVIA TIME OUT: Gadgeteer is misspelled according to Google Chrome. The correct spellings are Gazetteer, Megadeath, Degenerate, Goaltender, and Gatekeeper.

    How did you find us? I was perusing the official forums looking into Super Groups. Most of the posts were all the same stuff, standard "Join us, we rock" stuff. Then I saw the thread for WildCards. I kid you not, a shaft of light burned through the clouds as if from the heavens above and lit up that very same thread so bright that I had to avert my eyes from thine glory. I couldn't even read it! I stood up, paced around a bit, then realized that it was just the morning sun that had broken over the railing outside. I adjusted my window blinds and continued to read the post.

    Do you have friends or family in the guild? If so what is their forum name? Not as of yet, but I fully expect to make pals with everyone and then slowly alienate them through bad humor and crude innuendo.

    Tell us one thing we could do to improve our Guild Charter or Code of Conduct: The content of the code is fine IMO. You have done a good job of defining yourself, your goals (in each world you are involved in!), and your "requirements". The one thing I could recommend is a cold drink. Offer a cold drink while the prospective applicant reads through the charter. Now, I understand the limitations involved with sending beer through the interwebs, and that the whole Star Trek replicator thing hasn't really panned out yet. I am, however, willing to accept a $9 paypal transaction that I will use to purchase my own beer. I will then sit down and re-read the charter. You're welcome.

    Do you have an issue using Ventrilo? (Being able to at least listen is helpful for active participation in PvP/raids) Not at all. I am a voyeur so listening works for me as well, but at least send me pics or camera phone vids. The only times I might not be on vent are in the early mornings when my "other half" is still sleeping, or when I am playing while I should be working :ugeek:

    Fully answer the following 5 questions: Ok, shoot.
    1. What is the dumbest thing you have ever done? Besides spending 3 hours writing this application? :2finger:

    Geez, I have done so much stupid shit in my time that it is hard to point at just one.

    Yesterday, I "accidentally" felt up my gf's friend. She dropped salsa on her boob (low cut shirt) and I was Johnny-on-the-spot with a napkin to wipe it clean. Cleaning a boob in and of itself isn't dumb, but when you consider the fact that her husband and my gf were sitting there watch me practically groping her... I think you will admit that was kind of dumb.

    Then there was the time I had sex with my roommate and tried to convince her we weren't in a relationship afterwards. If I had known how psychotic she was going to get, I would have kept my junk in my pants.

    And speaking of psychotic chicks, I met this one girl while on a business trip and had amazing freaky sex. I made the mistake of not talking her out of moving from the east coast to California. The next 6 months were filled with constant bitching, damn near fist fights, and amazingly freaky sex. I just couldn't say no to the freaky stuff. It pretty much ended when I told her I never had a girlfriend that made me want to smack the shit out her so badly as she did.

    I never hit her (nor any woman for that matter), but if we hadn't of broken up, I am positive we would have gotten into a fist fight.

    2. What is generally more important: the needs of an individual, or the "common good" of society? I feel that if the needs of the individual are met, that individual will be a more productive member of society thereby improving society as a whole. Conversely, if you concentrate on the needs of the whole society, the concept of the individual gets lost. It is when people do not feel as if they contribute that they get pissy. Wars break out. Serial Killers murder. And someone swipes the last beer. Anarchy.

    3. What is your Zombie Plan? I think I would purposely infect a few select individuals and secure them in a tool shed. If I play my cards right, I would always have someone to drink beers with. Then there is the zombie sex... Nothing like trying to stay on top while the putrid smelling, incoherent babbling, pale goth chick under you tries to eat your brains! Besides, zombie groans are HOT!

    4. Tell us the story of why you will no longer drink Absinthe. I tried absinthe exactly 2x. Both on the same night. Just to be sure. I was at a party and the host, a Hungarian who travels through Czech Republic frequently, started ejaculating over how fantastic his "REAL" absinthe collection was (at the time, you couldnt get real honest to goodness absinthe in the US). "It is awesome! It is fantastic! You never had a drunk like being drunk on absinthe!" and on and on about this stuff.

    Me, being the adventurous type, asked him to set some up. He then proceeds to bust out these special glasses "Have to drink out of these!", some weird spade shaped thing, sugar cubes, and the green elixir. With great ceremony, he gently pours some of the green liquid into the glass, places a sugar cube on the slotted spade thingie with great reverence, possibly offers up a prayer of sacrifice to the gods, and then melts the sugar by dripping water over it into the glass. After a few moments he offers me a glass, damn near had his head bowed.

    I take a sip and immediately can tell I wont be ordering many of these. The taste reminded me of what I would expect licorice infused shit to taste like. Of all the great flavor combinations in the world; bread and butter, toast and jam, peanut butter and chocolate... shit and licorice just do not mix. Hell, even individually, they leave much to be desired.

    5. Tell us about a conflict you had with one of your coworkers/guild members. How did you resolve it? My sister asked me that question once. Once.

    I kid

    I am a service manager where I work. I deal with problems all the damn time. It often comes down to a few things. Know what the hell you are talking about before spouting off. If you don't know the truth, find out. You have to approach each issue head on. Shit rarely resolves itself. People rarely "get over it". You have to be proactive in solving things.

    In my job, I have to rely on other people to give me information so that I can facilitate resolution with the customer. If I do not have the info, I cannot do my job. "Sorry Mr. Customer, I don't know" usually doesn't work. The last conflict I had was with a remote support engineer who was not updating the particular service issue I was involved in. He would not answer his phone or return any email. He was too busy fixing the system to tell me what the status was. Finally, after several attempts to contact this guy, he sends me an email stating "Stop bothering me or I cannot fix the customer. I will update the case when it is done! Besides I am working with the customer at the same time!"

    Instead of getting all huffy and puffy and stomping off to tell his manager on him, I simply asked that he cc me on all coorspondance. His customer contact was a server admin, mine was the customer management. We had two different audiences that needed the same info but were not talking. He started cc'ing me, I got my info, the customer was happy, and he wasn't being bothered by me any longer.

    What has been your favorite class out of all the MMO's you've played? My first will always remain my true love. I played a cleric in EQ1. The class was at times stressful, at times brainless, and you always had to rely on others to get anything done. But they say you will always remember who popped your cherry. Naughtalia Minx was her name. I role-played as a female with my gf at the time who was also a female character. We pretended to be lesbian lovers living together in RL. Oddly, people though we were faking it- that she was really a dude and I was the girl.

    We broke up :2finger:

    Quick survey! We will totally judge you by the choices you make below:
    Favorite Team: Chicago Bears - MONSTERS OF THE MIDWAY!!!
    Favorite Movie: Who has just one favorite? With Netflix 3 out option, Roku streaming video, a Century Movie Theater 4 blocks away... too many good flicks out there to narrow to one. I love Horror, Sci-Fi, Fantasy, and Comedy mostly. Princess Bride, Excalibur, Highlander, Pee Wee's Big Adventure... MOVIE GOLD!
    Favorite Book: This might be an easier question to answer if I wasn't such an avid reader. I guess maybe The Hobbit. But only because I have hairy feet.
    Favorite Drink: A Free One. I am partial to fantastic beers though. Aventinus, Vitus, Chimay... mmmm I am thirsty now.
    Favorite Non MMO Game: Hide The Salami


    In the time it took me to write this, I had 3 conference calls, 2 mugs of coffee, a bowl of cereal, and a healthy dump. Just thought I'd share. You know... since we'z gunna be fam-lee an' all.
    This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

  2. #2
    I am the Waffleman. Goo goo gajoob. Dao Jones's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spanner
    How did you find us? I was perusing the official forums looking into Super Groups. Most of the posts were all the same stuff, standard "Join us, we rock" stuff. Then I saw the thread for WildCards. I kid you not, a shaft of light burned through the clouds as if from the heavens above and lit up that very same thread so bright that I had to avert my eyes from thine glory. I couldn't even read it!
    Your entire app could have just been this part, and you'd automatically have gotten in. Everything after that was just a let down. Like finding out she was a guy right after you orgasm.

  3. #3
    Holy applications! I'll be honest I'm near sick or reading applications, but your was a treasure trove of yummy gooey goodness.

    I must admit that you seem a tad bit freaky and disturbed, which is a good thing here! Look for a Wildcard in game for an invite and keep tabs on your application, folks may come a'calln.

  4. #4
    Spanner's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spanner
    Do you have friends or family in the guild? If so what is their forum name? Not as of yet, but I fully expect to make pals with everyone and then slowly alienate them through bad humor and crude innuendo.
    To be fair, I did warn you. I just expected it to take longer.

  5. #5
    Do you have friends or family in the guild? If so what is their forum name? Not as of yet, but I fully expect to make pals with everyone and then slowly alienate them through bad humor and crude innuendo.
    Hah! you'll have to get through our bad humour and innuendo first in order to do that

  6. #6
    I am the Waffleman. Goo goo gajoob. Dao Jones's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spanner
    Quote Originally Posted by Spanner
    Do you have friends or family in the guild? If so what is their forum name? Not as of yet, but I fully expect to make pals with everyone and then slowly alienate them through bad humor and crude innuendo.
    To be fair, I did warn you. I just expected it to take longer.
    This is actually my exact strategy as well. Except mine is more like "build a huge guild of people based on a momentary flash of charisma in a recruiting app, and then slowly drive them off with my overbearing and unpleasant demeanor paired with my increasingly erratic and dictatorial demands of them."

    FYI - new guild rule. Every character in the guild must have the name "Dao" worked into their name somehow. I call "Daon's Syndrome Man".

  7. #7
    That application was an epic pile of irreverence. It made my morning.

  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Dao Jones
    Quote Originally Posted by Spanner
    Quote Originally Posted by Spanner
    Do you have friends or family in the guild? If so what is their forum name? Not as of yet, but I fully expect to make pals with everyone and then slowly alienate them through bad humor and crude innuendo.
    To be fair, I did warn you. I just expected it to take longer.
    This is actually my exact strategy as well. Except mine is more like "build a huge guild of people based on a momentary flash of charisma in a recruiting app, and then slowly drive them off with my overbearing and unpleasant demeanor paired with my increasingly erratic and dictatorial demands of them."

    FYI - new guild rule. Every character in the guild must have the name "Dao" worked into their name somehow. I call "Daon's Syndrome Man".
    I'll make my next alt "Dao not feed the Pandas" then

    Dao you have a reason for Daoing this by the way?

  9. #9
    I am the Waffleman. Goo goo gajoob. Dao Jones's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tanuki
    I'll make my next alt "Dao not feed the Pandas" then

    Dao you have a reason for Daoing this by the way?
    I'll Dao anything I Daomn well please.

    I think I'll also make a short furry-footed guy named "FroDao". His powers will come from a magical ring, but to avoid and infringement issues he won't be wearing that ring on his finger.

    Let's just say that his "force blast" power isn't going to emanate from his hands.

  10. #10
    Spanner's Avatar
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    Thread killer! Damn.

    I am bumping this just to stroke my ego.

    Interesting side story - I dated a girl one time who asked if I named my junk. I told her "Ego." She said "Ego? Why Ego?" I replied, "Because every time you stroke my ego with your fake compliments I can say thanks for the handjob."

    We broke up.

    True Story.

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