About Spanner

Basic Information

Date of Birth
November 7, 1970 (48)
About Spanner
Biography:
The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.
Location:
Redwood City, CA
Interests:
Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, my crumb snatchers, alt-hopping

Signature


This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

Statistics


Total Posts
Total Posts
2,267
Posts Per Day
0.61
General Information
Last Activity
09-03-2019 09:57 AM
Join Date
09-10-2009
Referrals
0

Arcade Statistics


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Games Finished
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Challenges
0 - 0 Wins / 0 Losses, 0 Initiated - Challenge Spanner
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