Terrible movie thread! Flicks to forget...

huntgod

GalactHunt, Eater of Guilds
Ufficer
Joined
Aug 31, 2009
Messages
23,601
So we have a good movies thread, figured we might want a thread for real stinkers...

I normally just promptly forget terrible movies, but just watched one that was surprisingly terrible.

I found the book Inferno, by Dan Brown, to be one of his better ones, it had a plot that I found appealing (as a big Rhas al Gul fan from Batman, it's a plot I am familiar with) and presented the reader with an actual moral conundrum of the "greater good" then the book capped itself with a very non happy ending. It was refreshing a slightly improved formula over his other books.

The film had none of this, despite a great director, Ron Howard and a brilliant cast, Tom Hanks and Felicity Jones, the film takes some HUGE liberties with the plot, completely obviating the moral conundrum and instead giving anyone with a conscious a very clear answer to the question presented and the end is complete horseshit Hollywood happyland. Some of this is on me for expecting more from Howard and Hanks, but the film had other issues with pacing and such that could have been forgiven with a good underlying plot rather than this schlock. Just fucking awful...

The spoiler material mentions very specific elements of the book and movie plot.

Spoiler:
If you are familiar with the book, the virus is a sterility virus that impacts 1/3 of the population, creating a humane and self propagating solution to over population and at the end it is released. In the movie the virus KILLS 50% of the population and they stop it. So no moral question, no one with a shred of conscience kills 3.5 billion people and it doesn't fix the problem, it just buys us about 35-40 years before we are right back where we started, just dumb dumb dumb...it's rare for me to get angry with a movie, but it was just soooo stupid.


Anyone else see any real stinkers?
 
Joined
Sep 22, 2012
Messages
1,507
Hearts and armour. It's like they took an idea that was cool when they were stoned, wrote it down on toilet paper, ate taco bell, wiped their ass with the toilet paper script, hired people from the bar to be actors, got 7th grade shop dropouts to make the props, hired a historian to make a list of what not to do for a period film, pirated bad porn music, got puking drunk and made the movie on a second hand 8mm camera.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0086074/
 

huntgod

GalactHunt, Eater of Guilds
Ufficer
Joined
Aug 31, 2009
Messages
23,601
Hearts and armour. It's like they took an idea that was cool when they were stoned, wrote it down on toilet paper, ate taco bell, wiped their ass with the toilet paper script, hired people from the bar to be actors, got 7th grade shop dropouts to make the props, hired a historian to make a list of what not to do for a period film, pirated bad porn music, got puking drunk and made the movie on a second hand 8mm camera.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0086074/
It's got Tanya Roberts in it, that should have been a tip off right there :p
 
Joined
Sep 9, 2016
Messages
442
It's got Tanya Roberts in it, that should have been a tip off right there :p
But Tanya Roberts in the beastmaster? Come on? /end sarcasm (she was just hot in it)

Couple known bad movies: Batman and Robin, Battlefield Earth
 

ObiWanJabroni

Official Coiner of Terms
Community Officer
Joined
Sep 23, 2010
Messages
6,949
Batman and Robin is so bad its worth drinking and watching, at least. I wouldn't call that a flick to forget. Its pretty hilarious.

Ultraviolet was atrocious. Not even worth revisiting while drunk. I really like Milla Jovovich, too. I wish she'd do some good movies. Now that I think of it, I'd throw all the Resident Evil movies into the shit pile. I've seen the first four, maybe, and they all sucked ass and were totally forgettable (except the handful of scenes where she's basically just wearing a paper towel). Sorry Milla, I'll always have Run Lola Run and Leeloo Dallas Multipass to remember you by.

Also, Tanya Roberts was in That 70s Show, so she certainly doesn't indicate auto-bad.
 
Joined
Sep 25, 2009
Messages
11,768
I enjoyed the first two Resident Evils.

Utterly forgettable (or at least I wish I could): Highlander 2, Battlefield Earth, and anything M. Night Shymalan (other than Sixth Sense & Unbreakable).
 

huntgod

GalactHunt, Eater of Guilds
Ufficer
Joined
Aug 31, 2009
Messages
23,601
Highlander 2 was so bad I asked for my money back when I had free passes...they are supposed to be rebooting the franchise, looking forward to that.
 

huntgod

GalactHunt, Eater of Guilds
Ufficer
Joined
Aug 31, 2009
Messages
23,601
Hey that was a cherished part of my childhood, that I watched as an adult and regretted.

Interesting fact, there is a news story that broke in the middle of that about Russia testing their first Neutron bomb...
 
Joined
Dec 22, 2011
Messages
235
The latest bourne movie was pretty terrible!

They lost me on "sql" hack
 

ChefBourdain

Ufficer
Joined
Dec 18, 2009
Messages
5,976
Madonna's Body of Evidence. It really has to be a bad movie to make a perv hate something with explicit sex scenes in it.
 

huntgod

GalactHunt, Eater of Guilds
Ufficer
Joined
Aug 31, 2009
Messages
23,601
I hate to hear that, I was thinking about watching it. Maybe shooting a movie with your daughter and her best friend as the stars wasn't the best move :) Even if that best friend is the daughter of Johnny Depp.
 
Joined
Feb 8, 2013
Messages
8,536
Knights of Badassdom - Incredibly, super, awfully terrible... but in a good way. The movie is so cheesy, that it's up there as a must watch once film, preferably whilst drink drank drunk.

Suicide Squad - Don't. Just. Don't.
 
Joined
Sep 9, 2016
Messages
442
Knights of Badassdom - Incredibly, super, awfully terrible... but in a good way. The movie is so cheesy, that it's up there as a must watch once film, preferably whilst drink drank drunk.

Suicide Squad - Don't. Just. Don't.
Definitely going to disagree with Suicide Squad. Was it a crazy awesome movie? No. It was entertaining and decent though.
 

huntgod

GalactHunt, Eater of Guilds
Ufficer
Joined
Aug 31, 2009
Messages
23,601
Knights of Badassdom - Incredibly, super, awfully terrible... but in a good way. The movie is so cheesy, that it's up there as a must watch once film, preferably whilst drink drank drunk.

Suicide Squad - Don't. Just. Don't.
Gonna disagree as well, bad awesome movies don't belong, and Badassdom is in that category. Suicide Squad had its issues, but was a decent flick, just not up to par with the Marvel offerings.
 
Joined
Dec 4, 2016
Messages
32
Sausage Party.. I love smutt but this was so hard to watch. Everything was so cringey!
 
Joined
Sep 9, 2016
Messages
442
Sausage Party.. I love smutt but this was so hard to watch. Everything was so cringey!
I have to say that what they were going for is exactly what you didn't like. Don't get me wrong, I was cringing at the food orgy too.
 
Joined
Dec 4, 2016
Messages
32
A lady at work let her 6 and 10 years old kids watch it then said DeadPool was the most non kid friendly film of 2016...
 
Top Bottom