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Thread: Wanna read something weird?

  1. #1
    So I'm a half-ass writer wannabe and I try to write every day. I do 'Warm-Ups' by working on this one crazy thing that has been kicking around in my head for a few years. Just whatever pops into my head and I have pages and pages of this stuff. As a game I edited some of it into a recognizable shaped story. I thought it turned out really funny and I have been sharing it with some friends one chapter at a time via E-mail. To get feedback and whatnot. So far the feedback has been overwhelmingly positive, and using the feedback I fixed it up a little. I'm going to try to finish it and get it published, why not? What's one more improbable dream?

    Keep in mind I have no editor and a writer who edits himself has a fool for a client I think the saying goes.

    Since it is mostly my friends who are reading it and I'm sure they are trying to spare my feelings I'd like to offer you guys the chance to crush my dreams and hurt me (baby don't hurt me... no more).

    The story is called TheNelson Thorne Story: Or How I Joined the Illuminati at the Behest ofmy Dead Father to Save the World from Transdimensional ReptileCreatures in Accordance with Prophecy. So that should give you an idea of what we're working with here. It has blood and sex and magic and other bodily fluids too numerous to mention individually. It has secret societies and Brunch. It has a fixation on Mid-century Modern furniture and Tori Spelling. It's profane and crazy and had been compared to Terry Pratchett, Carl Haiisen, and Douglas Adams, although frankly I was more embarrassed than flattered by the comparison because those are some of my favorite writers and I write near-gibberish.

    This story is not for everyone, or anyone really, but some people seem to like it. If you are easily offended by...well anything, you may want to give it a pass. Seriously. A semen-covered alligator corpse is an important character, at least in the first few chapters.

    So if there is interest, I'll post a chapter at a time in this thread and y'all can send me feedback via PM or something. If your feedback is 'lol you suck and should die asap' I already know, buddy, I already know. But if you have something constructive to add I'd love to hear it.

    So what do you think? Anyone interested in reading this?

  2. #2
    Quote Originally Posted by Ollie Oxenfree View Post
    A semen-covered alligator corpse

    I'm down. You had me on semen-covered.

  3. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by Ollie Oxenfree View Post
    So I'm a half-ass writer wannabe and I try to write every day. I do 'Warm-Ups' by working on this one crazy thing that has been kicking around in my head for a few years. Just whatever pops into my head and I have pages and pages of this stuff. As a game I edited some of it into a recognizable shaped story. I thought it turned out really funny and I have been sharing it with some friends one chapter at a time via E-mail. To get feedback and whatnot. So far the feedback has been overwhelmingly positive, and using the feedback I fixed it up a little. I'm going to try to finish it and get it published, why not? What's one more improbable dream?

    Keep in mind I have no editor and a writer who edits himself has a fool for a client I think the saying goes.

    Since it is mostly my friends who are reading it and I'm sure they are trying to spare my feelings I'd like to offer you guys the chance to crush my dreams and hurt me (baby don't hurt me... no more).

    The story is called TheNelson Thorne Story: Or How I Joined the Illuminati at the Behest ofmy Dead Father to Save the World from Transdimensional ReptileCreatures in Accordance with Prophecy. So that should give you an idea of what we're working with here. It has blood and sex and magic and other bodily fluids too numerous to mention individually. It has secret societies and Brunch. It has a fixation on Mid-century Modern furniture and Tori Spelling. It's profane and crazy and had been compared to Terry Pratchett, Carl Haiisen, and Douglas Adams, although frankly I was more embarrassed than flattered by the comparison because those are some of my favorite writers and I write near-gibberish.

    This story is not for everyone, or anyone really, but some people seem to like it. If you are easily offended by...well anything, you may want to give it a pass. Seriously. A semen-covered alligator corpse is an important character, at least in the first few chapters.

    So if there is interest, I'll post a chapter at a time in this thread and y'all can send me feedback via PM or something. If your feedback is 'lol you suck and should die asap' I already know, buddy, I already know. But if you have something constructive to add I'd love to hear it.

    So what do you think? Anyone interested in reading this?
    ...


    When you get published, this needs to be the introduction page to the novel.
    9/10 beers recommend Unrepentant for pantless gaming. The 10th had already been drunk.

  4. #4
    Official Coiner of Terms ObiWanJabroni's Avatar
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    Sounds entertaining, so I'm in, especially if you have easily digestible chunks I can knock out during work breaks. I don't expect to be terribly offended. You may call a semen-covered alligator corpse shocking or distasteful, but as a Floridian, I call that a Tuesday afternoon.

    Quote Originally Posted by Ollie Oxenfree View Post
    If your feedback is 'lol you suck and should die asap' I already know, buddy, I already know. But if you have something constructive to add I'd love to hear it.
    You mean, like, constructive feedback as in suggestions on ways to die? I can do that.

  5. #5
    GalactHunt, Eater of Guilds huntgod's Avatar
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    I can't promise how quickly I will get back to you, but I'd be glad to peruse it.

    "I'd rather watch a man masturbate than watch Cricket..." - HuntGod


  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by LoRdNlKoN View Post
    When you get published, this needs to be the introduction page to the novel.
    Yes. In all ways yes.

    Also, bring it on! If it's half as amusing as that ball of excitement, failed humility, and forgotten ADD medication, it'll be a good ride.
    The only path to where you are is the one you took.

  7. #7
    Xanz's Avatar
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    Totally down to read it! Sounds like Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy-ish.

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  8. #8
    ChefBourdain's Avatar
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    If I can fap to it, I will fap to it.

  9. #9
    AkRipper's Avatar
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    What won't Chef B fap to?

    I'm down for reading shenanigans.
    I would condemn the apathetic but I really don't care.
    Best sig ever, if I could make it fit. http://www.unrepentantgaming.com/for...l=1#post696841

  10. #10
    GalactHunt, Eater of Guilds huntgod's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AkRipper View Post
    What won't Chef B fap to?

    I'm down for reading shenanigans.
    Kitty porn?


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